Sunday, July 22, 2012

We All Have a Story

But those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint. (Isaiah 40:31)

In our first training class this month our trainer's first question to all of us was "why do you want to foster or adopt??"  When it came my turn I, of course answering for both Chris and I, said, "I was adopted". It seemed appropriate but wasn't completely true.We had a story, just like everyone else in the room and we just weren't willing to completely divulge it.  Training has been rough at times. I think the hardest part was our entire evening on Shaken Baby Syndrome and SIDS. I've had this burn inside of me ever since I was little, that "you can't scare me" or "you won't make me back down" personality trait that made me stay planted and I remember praying as I was sitting there asking the Lord to keep me still and to listen. It's important to hear the stories, to know the abuse because it will help us understand possibly behaviors of our future child. Chris had to walk out and take a minute before he could really talk about the information that night and that's ok, we all needed a minute that night. To tell you the truth, after deciding to adopt through CPS we had very little support from  family and friends. For us, a bit shocking, but not completely surprising. Most asked WHY?? Why adopt one of "these children"? Why would you put your family, especially the boys, through something possibly traumatic and painful just to add a child to your family...we already have three kiddos right? "Are you willing to...? "What will happen if....?" "Are you ready for....?" These seem to be normal questions but what it's made us realize is, no matter who's questioning us, the only validation that we need is God's. We don't have to explain to everyone why we're doing what we're doing. We don't have to explain why our daughter will not be "second best" because she was a foster child before an adopted child. We don't have to explain why our daughter will be in our home because we know God's plan for us and we have comfort knowing that he's gotten us this far. I'm glad I was given a stubborn personality because I could easily try to appease everyone, but no this mama. You're setting us up for failure? For tears? I don't think so. We will flourish, we will grow we'll have road blocks and barriers but they won't be bigger than Him. You see, we rest in that. I wish I had had the courage that night to tell my story, the story of my birth mother, my family, my children and the beauty that we have found in knowing that our God is bigger than any of our pain and suffering. So we're choosing to praise Him everyday for the children we already have, for the ability to have babysitters all month twice a week so we can do our training, for our awesome trainer Angela from Spaulding, for the time we get to sit together and actually talk about the important things in our life, for our new home, for all of the prayers from friends and family, and for each other. Praise is a choice and we're choosing to praise Him through everything.