Thursday, May 31, 2012

I Giggle When I'm Nervous

The past six months since we've been back in Houston sort of feels like we've been white water rafting with no oars. Jumping from side to side, making sure we're afloat but having fun at the same time. It use to feel scary but now we're use to it and have learned to lean into our faith. We know The Lord is always there in the boat giggling at us. The other day Chris commented on my giggle. "Uh, oh...that's your nervous laugh." I had to admit. I was nervous. We had been waiting for the approval of our agency app and now that we had been approved and our training was scheduled I was hit with this wave of emotion, and that emotion was anxiety. How was I, the "emotional one", going to handle talking about psychotropic drugs, sexual abuse, neglect, attachment disorders and rage for 6 hours a week? I mean crap! I teared up at the information session! This is ALL BEFORE the home study. I really needed to pull it together. I needed some quiet. I needed to process my feelings and I needed to pray. We all needed to pray, so that's exactly what we did. We don't have all the answers to our questions, I still giggle a lot, but we have great friends that giggle with us, sons who make us smile even in the mist of the waves, one who always has his hands up on the ride and a BIG God. Bigger than our anxieties, bigger than our fears and way bigger than our raft. We start our training June 5th!! Please be in prayer with us!!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

It is well with my soul

Last night I was at mass with a good friend of mine. I couldn't take my eyes off of the beautiful children in front of me, the three oldest of five, singing their hearts in praises to our loving God. My mind, normally filled with anxieties, was peaceful and our hopes for more children seemed much closer than they did just hours before I had walked into that church. We had gotten a call that we're scheduled for our state training and home study in the months of June and July which would have us ready for placement the beginning of August. My mind exploded and we sort of giggled in nervousness but we're "high fiver's" and it was a really good high five yesterday. We're scheduled, that's big. We can totally pull this off and the idea of four, possibly five kiddos makes me smile. Such a gift to us from none other than God himself. Please be in reverent prayer with us for our training and homestudy to go well, for the child or children who'll be placed with us and for the comfort and peace of the biological family members. It is well with my soul.